Indiana Jones.....with skates

Everyone's heard the cliche, "So what do you wanna be when you grow up?" and since Ive determined that Ill never really grow up; at least "grow up" in the sense of allowing myself to lose that sense of childlike wonder for the sake of money or possessions or an unfulfilling career. Money, granted, is important in this life, and you do kinda need it to live in this world, but it's not the most important thing. Money comes and money goes.
Misspent youth, a term I think many people can identify with, including myself. I have to admit there is a certain amount of envy I feel for those that didnt have that "misspent youth" and focused on what they wanted and...got it. Those that knew from the get-go what they were going to be when they grew up, my hats off to them. Being an amorphous entity in a world that values the concrete ideals of career and accomplishment has not been easy, and I know Im not the only one. The phrase "Not all that wander are lost" come to mind for some reason. I sometimes wonder what life would've been like if I would ve taken the offer from Yale and figured out the tuition instead of being a frustrated dumbass teenager, but c'est la vie, no use looking back when the future looks far better.
Ancient ruins, exotic locales, scantily clad native women, sipping Mai Tais...sipping Mai Tais?? No, not that part, but the allure of the word Anthropology brings to mind Indiana Jones and exotic foreign locations fraught with romance and danger. Granted the reality of Anthropological work isn't quite as glamourous, but has a reward all its own. And the diversity of the profession makes it extremely attractive for someone like me who at times can be rather schizophrenic in my interests! And even in this uncertain day and age, the opportunities in the field are pretty boundless. Governments, Corporations, NGO's (non governmental orgs), and of course universities all have needs for people with training in the Anthropologic sciences.
Many find their callings at different times of their lives. Some figure it out early, some never do. I feel fortunate that I figured it out when I did, not being too old and set in my ways, but not too young, wide eyed and naive. Now, I just have to find me a good bull whip to swing off of branches while running away from angry natives!

Purity in Hazel

Fear and wonder
Come to me! Stay away!
My body limply washed on your shore, the first time I did
Old timbers from that old ship, I held on to, to not drown
Creaky, splintered and brown
This ship of the past offered nothing but false safety
My fingers splinterd and hurt
My eyes reddened and burnt
The warmth of late summer of some years ago
You smiled at me from your inviting world
Flashing brown and green sunsets
Sheathed in gold and Mediterranean tones
Reminders of beautiful hazel days
spent alone in paradise, looking out to the sea
My burnt eyes saw clearer than ever before, as the world fell away
That August calamity....or epiphany? that brought me to you
Is it a calamity that I find an oasis amidst
The cruelty of the blue ocean?
Or epiphany! that I am but a stranger yet again
A younger stranger made to sleep at the ocean's edge
Grasping only sand, tasting only salt.
You that I gaze upon, always from
the precariousness of the shore
seem dare not to reveal all that could nourish
this starved wanderer
But the soft breathes that drift
the sighed murmurs of unknown pleasures
Reflect all of the vast infinite that I gaze upon
As I look up from my lowly station on your shore
To the vast infinite
Above....Epiphany!
Laughter, Play, Innocence, the mechanics of Love
Lay scattered above my head in a million points
The laughter, the play, the innocence that diverged
and dispersed within the secret hollows of your heart
Voices alien and transitory
Extinguished themselves in time.
I look at you now as I always have
As the beautiful, undiscovered country
Where Earth meets sky
And the voices that were alien to my hungry ear
Might be ours?, intertwined in time
Without fear
Only wonder..........

Anthropologist.....Actor......Musician.......Dad?

After a conversation I had with a certain super someone not too long ago,I was inspired to write this blog about kids. I've always had mixed feelings about them, sure I could play the role of the old geezer and complain about 'em being too messy, too loud, a burden,etc. But I think a greater part of me sees things differently, thanks to my life experience and the insight that has given me in relating to, raising, and even wanting children of my own.

I took a childcare class in high school, at first for an easy elective credit. It was a combination class and lab; the lab being actual time in the nursery and with the preschoolers on the playground. I was the only guy in the class. None of the fathers of these kids thought it was important enough I guess, to take a class to learn the appropriate way to take care of the children they helped create. Sad. It was in equal measure bizarre for a guy like me to BE IN a class like this; someone who never went to the prom, way too shy to get any dates, and would normally come to school wearing a Judas Priest or Nine Inch Nails ripped t-shirt with hair down to the middle of my back, ripped jeans and Dr. Martens on. To say I was a late bloomer and a misfit would be an understatement.

I loved this class so much! I learned how to change my first diaper, ewww! I would do story time with the kids, would tuck them in for naptime, and always go to the playground and play! My favorite! What amazed me was how attached all of these kids became to me. That left such an impression on an alienated, fairly out of control, frustrated punkass with a crappy non existent homelife, ME. When I wouldn't be in class, Ms. Lisa or Ms. Marine would literally try to make me feel guilty, as in, "Where have you been?!? do you know these kids ask about you and wonder where you are..How does that make you feel Joe?, they want you here, not doing whatever you are doing!"

Over the years their have been a few things I have realized about myself when I have dealt with children. One of the most important and rewarding things I ve learned is that children have always brought the best out of who I am as a person.And that feeling has been so gratifying. Whatever selfcenteredness that I might possess evaporates. The want to nurture and teach becomes automatic. not quite sure why maybe it was that class, maybe it was the lack of it when I was a kid. Oh yeah, I certainly have learned how NOT to raise kids by example! many of them, from seeing it and experiencing first hand. Also, I've never had any problem getting down to a kids level when it came to play and imagination. I still love to play and pretend just as much now as when I was a kid! It's no wonder then that I tend to like women that can be silly and playful, but who know how to be adults, when necessary!

I remember when I was almost a dad awhile ago. I admit, I was a bit scared and with hindsight being 20/20, I knew we were not ready to be parents. It's amazing and sad how many people have kids without the awareness and preparation necessary. Thankfully, I think my personality has finally become stable and realistic enough if I were to become a dad, without being too boring ;)

So, would there ever be little additions to the world of "Joetown"?In my life, the experiences have been overall, fairly positive. Not to say its all sunshine and lollipops, I don't have that delusion AT ALL! But if I were with that certain someone who made my heart skip a beat, and who I could just as easily discuss the latest books we've read just as easily as doing something silly for silly's sake, like say wearing silly costumes (for an event I did not too long ago), then whatever hardships might lay ahead, i'll face it with a smile. So the title of "Dad" would be one I wouldn't have a problem with, i'd be pretty proud. Life always has a funny way of making things happen. And thank you "Supergirl" for making me ponder....and wonder....about things I haven't thought of in a while........ ;)

The BrainBowl Journey of a Thousand Questions Begins with a Single Flyer....

Brows heavy with sweat, tension so thick you can cut it with a knife, opposing teams flashing intimidating glances at each other, then a buzzer sounds...a voice rumbles..."XENOPHON!".....


"Correct!" "The power goes to UCF". What you just read wasnt a description of the 4th quarter of a UCF football game with one of the players having a Tourette's moment, this was a slice of what it was like for me as a member of the Seminole State/UCF BrainBowl team for '09-'10 (By the way, for anyone curious, Xenophon was a Greek historian who was associated with Socrates.) This was an actual question!, to give an idea of the challenge that is Brain Bowl.


You may be wondering, "What the hell is BrainBowl?" In short, it's like "Jeopardy", except much, much harder, old people don't build their evenings around watching it, and it doesn't have a sometimes annoying host who likes to correct contestants in his "perfect" Canadian diction. Less facetiously, it is an intercollegiate competition which pits schools, both state colleges and 4 year universities, in competition with each other where questions are asked on a broad range of topics, from History, Literature, Physics, Biology, Politics, Higher Mathematics, and so on. Points are awarded, scores are assessed, and those who score high enough get to move on to regional matches, state matches all the way to the Nationals. I had the fortune of being on the team that made it all the way to the NAQT Nationals, which was held in Chicago, Illinois. Like most journeys, this one began simply enough, a flyer I found taped to the wall......

When I first started in school, I admit I was a bit too shy to join any clubs or organizations, so I felt as if I missed out on a part of the "college experience", now that social awkwardness isn't as crippling as it used to be, I was hell-bent on getting involved in things at SSC and UCF. Fate intervened one day as I was walking to my Anthropology class, and on the wall taped next to the door was a flyer for Brain Bowl. The wheels began to turn, and I decided to check it out. It was a humble enough affair, Jeri (our coach) Kat, Tom, and Rojay (fellow team members) were in this tiny room in the very back of the library. My first reaction was a "HA! so I see BrainBowl isn't much of a priority around here!" Leave it to me to find a club that no one had ANY interest in, much less the school itself. So much for my first effort to get involved!.

But I decided to keep going to the practices, and started to really get into the spirit of "it"; the pouring over of questions, the learning of some pretty obscure factoids, and the promise of our first competition, which wasn't too long after I stumbled into that little room with the "deer in the headlights" look on my face!. Another plus was that I made 4 new friends, each a very different personality, each gifted in their own way.

I admit that at first, the competitive edge wasn't quite there for me, but I can get pretty competitive, and as we were winning matches and becoming more of a team, to use a somewhat politically incorrect term, I felt I had a "dog in this fight". Competitions held at Valencia Communty College left us within the top 5 ranked teams in the state, a feat the school had not achieved in quite a long time, so the stakes were getting higher. The Regional finals were held at Seminole State and we won 1st in the region! Yet we still had 2 competitions left to face, one in Cocoa Beach at Brevard Community College and in Marianna, Florida (a place somewhere near Pierson, i think ;)) The big question in our collective minds at the end of competition in Marianna was, Would we get invited to the Nationals? This was something never achieved before by Seminole, we weren't completely satisfied with our performance there.....but by the skin of our cerebellums, the answer was a whispered,YES! Chicago here we come!

All expenses paid vacations don't roll around too often, and frankly we were quite surprised that the school decided to pay for the whole shebang; the flights, the hotel, spending money for the trip, drunken nights at Chicago's best strip clubs (just kidding on that last one). So this trip by all of us was viewed as more of a fun weekend getaway, considering now we were facing off against the likes of Harvard, Yale, Brown, you get the picture. It was more about finding some authentic Chicago style pizza and playing the role of tourists. Of course, leave it to me to throw on my skates, go on my own little adventure, and end up skating by the beach (Chicago does have a pretty nice beach right on Lake Michigan), finding a little hole in the wall joint with delicious Pakistani/Indian food where I felt I was back in the Middle East, and doing some skate moves and impressing the shady characters in some of the grimier neighborhoods along the "L". Can't help it though, whenever I 'm somewhere new, the skates are never too far from me. Can't take me anywhere..........Oh yeah, did I mention we went to the Art Institute of Chicago, with one of the most impressive art collections in the US?

As for the competition, we did win 3 out of 10 matches, admittedly 3 more than we expected to win! So I think we were all pretty satisfied. After all, even though we made it all the way to the Nationals it really was the journey there that made it worth while, and hey, the school did give us several paid vacations, plus scholarship money to boot! Not a bad start for someone who felt he "missed the boat" before. There's always a second chance, if you allow it to happen. A quote that I try keep in mind is one by Thomas Jefferson, "I find the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have" Simple, but powerful. Words that ring true now more than ever .So I wonder what adventure awaits me around the next turn?........

Really Good Vibrations!

On a Monday night not too long ago, I got off on another exit on that long spiritual highway I've either gunned it in my metaphysical Maserati on my way to self actualization, or drove like a clueless tourist with their blinkers on in the left lane. This exit took me to this beautiful , ornate temple tucked into jade colored unspoilt hills. A temple of breath that opened itself up to me and revealed within it a chamber of wonderful little curiousities that I will certainly explore further.

Truth be told, the setting wasnt quite as idyllic as that, but within the painted beige cinderblock walls of the Spiritualist Church of Awareness, amidst the rumble of old and younger lungs in unison, a quiet waterfall flowed, buzzed, and gurgled into our bodies, a waterfall called Qi Gong.

My friend Lee from my meditiation circle had first turned me on to Qi Gong, and he began teaching it on Monday nights before our meditation circle. Qi Gong goes back a millenia, and it deals with "Qi" or "chi" energy and using meditation and breathing to manipulate it for a practitioner's general health and well-being. In China, where it originated, it is viewed by the medical establishment as being as integral to the practice of medicine as physiology, anatomy, and so on. So I sporadically attend some of the classes; Ha! how pedestrian and ADD of me, I know,considering the weight of history behind it.

So a story was related to us in the circle with almost childlike glee by Lee that through a serendipitous kwinkerdink, he was able to get Jocelyn Brock, who is a very advanced teacher of Qi Gong, and one of the higher ups in the organization he is a part of. To give perspective to this, she has led Qi instruction for close to 5,000 people....at one time!. So her coming and teaching our little group of Spiritualists, Pagans, and astral travellers was to be a priviledge AND an experience. And it was.

The evening started off humbly enough. People would come into the hall in small spurts, some familiar faces, some not. Mats and pillows were the suggested furniture for the evening, and as some were sitting on the floor already, including myself, there was the muttered grumbles of "If this involves getting on the floor, I don't know whether Ill get up" and "I don't do floors!" In the midst of the gathering comes a spritely, youthful, unassuming woman who we find out is Jocelyn, the person everyone has been waiting for. After a very cheerful introduction by her, it was time to get to work!

Using a technique referred to as the "Warrior Breath", our entire group was lead by the soothing, empowering words of our teacher for the evening, as most of us embarked upon this primer on what Qi Gong is. Strong inhalations, chests expanding, feeling the rush of oxygen into expanded lungs, doing this intense breathwork almost immediately brought on one of the most intense physical feelings I've ever experienced.

At the beginning I admit I wasnt sure about if I could maintain these powerful breaths, but as the minutes went by, the whole of me felt this powerful pulsing and buzzing that brought about this euphoria, and this unexplainable need to raise my arms into the air, with my hands locked in this strange position!. Jocelyn had explained that this was normal and among Hindus, this was a very good sign and a priviledge for this to happen; it signified cleansing. At one point, it felt as if I was going to float right up and off the ground! My arms felt a literal energy field around me, as if they were moving through water, that I am told is the "Qi". It had been mentioned that many who experience this at its most intense are almost moved to tears. I admit, for me the feelings were pretty intense. Jocelyn's voice slowly came back to the fore as she was bringing us back. I didn't want to come back! But slowly, our bodies were brought back to this realm, but all still feeling the residual effects as we sat up and related each of our personal experiences.

So yet another interesting stop on the highway that leads to......Higher awareness? More in touch with the Infinite Source? the Great Spirit? I think all of those and many more.The night's experiences will remain with me for some time, and I look forward doing more than just scratching the surface. The next logical step would be to go to Qi Gong Revolution that is taking place here in Orlando at the end of May. If my path leads me, I will gladly follow for some more Really Really Good Vibrations!