After a conversation I had with a certain super someone not too long ago,I was inspired to write this blog about kids. I've always had mixed feelings about them, sure I could play the role of the old geezer and complain about 'em being too messy, too loud, a burden,etc. But I think a greater part of me sees things differently, thanks to my life experience and the insight that has given me in relating to, raising, and even wanting children of my own.
I took a childcare class in high school, at first for an easy elective credit. It was a combination class and lab; the lab being actual time in the nursery and with the preschoolers on the playground. I was the only guy in the class. None of the fathers of these kids thought it was important enough I guess, to take a class to learn the appropriate way to take care of the children they helped create. Sad. It was in equal measure bizarre for a guy like me to BE IN a class like this; someone who never went to the prom, way too shy to get any dates, and would normally come to school wearing a Judas Priest or Nine Inch Nails ripped t-shirt with hair down to the middle of my back, ripped jeans and Dr. Martens on. To say I was a late bloomer and a misfit would be an understatement.
I loved this class so much! I learned how to change my first diaper, ewww! I would do story time with the kids, would tuck them in for naptime, and always go to the playground and play! My favorite! What amazed me was how attached all of these kids became to me. That left such an impression on an alienated, fairly out of control, frustrated punkass with a crappy non existent homelife, ME. When I wouldn't be in class, Ms. Lisa or Ms. Marine would literally try to make me feel guilty, as in, "Where have you been?!? do you know these kids ask about you and wonder where you are..How does that make you feel Joe?, they want you here, not doing whatever you are doing!"
Over the years their have been a few things I have realized about myself when I have dealt with children. One of the most important and rewarding things I ve learned is that children have always brought the best out of who I am as a person.And that feeling has been so gratifying. Whatever selfcenteredness that I might possess evaporates. The want to nurture and teach becomes automatic. not quite sure why maybe it was that class, maybe it was the lack of it when I was a kid. Oh yeah, I certainly have learned how NOT to raise kids by example! many of them, from seeing it and experiencing first hand. Also, I've never had any problem getting down to a kids level when it came to play and imagination. I still love to play and pretend just as much now as when I was a kid! It's no wonder then that I tend to like women that can be silly and playful, but who know how to be adults, when necessary!
I remember when I was almost a dad awhile ago. I admit, I was a bit scared and with hindsight being 20/20, I knew we were not ready to be parents. It's amazing and sad how many people have kids without the awareness and preparation necessary. Thankfully, I think my personality has finally become stable and realistic enough if I were to become a dad, without being too boring ;)
So, would there ever be little additions to the world of "Joetown"?In my life, the experiences have been overall, fairly positive. Not to say its all sunshine and lollipops, I don't have that delusion AT ALL! But if I were with that certain someone who made my heart skip a beat, and who I could just as easily discuss the latest books we've read just as easily as doing something silly for silly's sake, like say wearing silly costumes (for an event I did not too long ago), then whatever hardships might lay ahead, i'll face it with a smile. So the title of "Dad" would be one I wouldn't have a problem with, i'd be pretty proud. Life always has a funny way of making things happen. And thank you "Supergirl" for making me ponder....and wonder....about things I haven't thought of in a while........ ;)
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